I edit pictures of a sweet potato quinoa bowl and see her face.
I open a post and all I think about are the cute things she used to say.
These are the stories that placed me where I am today. Like being around a table, food and sharing go hand in hand. My mom disagrees when it comes to food blogs, so thank goodness for the “Jump to Recipe” button. While I understand there’s a time and place for the button (hence I use and include) I think sharing can be especially important, to a certain degree.
Anyway.
One of my very favorite people said, “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” And while I quoted John Lennon, I never fully lived his words until ten years ago today.
While out shopping for our daughter’s 3rd birthday party, a terrible accident was happening on the other side of town. Our daughter, Aviana, took the brunt of the crash.
The girl who –
lined her shoes in a perfect row.
looked at me from the rearview, then smiled as she pulled ribbons and rubber bands in defiance.
just got the hang of Halloween with a high pitched “trick treat?”
devoured every food with gusto.
wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone.
in the name of independence, had to figure every puzzle and toy, how to dress herself, potty train, etc.
like a magnet, attracted people from far and wide to admire and talk to her.
adored our dog Kama as much as I did, which I never thought humanly possible.
A girl who in one, car meets people second, is forever frozen in time.
But a new girl emerged. A different one from before.
And my gosh, without a word or move… did she steal hearts.
And the bond these two shared grew stronger.
We had Aviana for four and a half more years, but lost both she and Kama on the same day, three years apart.
They were both seven.
Because of the worst, I better understand the best and all between.
Today, the house is silent. Rainey’s exhausted from swimming. We’re calm in mind and spirit.
Many years ago, another day started this way. Chances are, today won’t end the same. But many people around the world will experience their own worst. When the life they knew is over. In its place and against their will, a new will appear. A life that’s unrecognizable, one they wish to escape. If only they could crawl back into the former.
As I sit, devoid of the chaos, my heart aches for those who are in it. The me now, wishes to say, I know it’s bad and most likely always will be sad to a varying degree. How could it not? But at the same time, the desire to be okay will eventually shine brighter.
If this helps…
From me to you, with love.
If possible, choose wisely from the beginning.
Surround yourself with those who love and care for your family, always.
Kind of like Maya Angelou’s quote, but when someone shows they aren’t for your family, listen the first time and act accordingly. Meaning, remove them from your circle, as under normal but now dire circumstances, you need all of the positive, uplifting energy possible.
Go easy on yourself, it’s a long haul!
Let yourself feel the weight of all that’s grief and loss.
Never let anyone tell you how or when grieving is right. We all walk a different path. This journey is yours and yours alone.
You will never be the same person you once were, don’t let others expect or expect that of yourself.
Embrace the small; beauty lies everywhere we look.
An outlet is lifesaving. Find one and let go.
This is a tough one, but comparison is the root of all evil, it’s a lose-lose every time.
Give to and help others, this is a gift that fills the soul in unimaginable ways.
Laugh whenever and as much as possible.
If you can, envision the course of a lifetime and not this time frame.
Even though the pain will never fully leave,
You will:
Smile big,
Love hard,
Live well,
And be happy.
And life –
It’s only over,
And done,
If you choose for it to be.
Maybe it’s just me.
And this isn’t you.
That’s okay,
As grief is unique,
And shouldn’t be pigeonholed.
My love to all who are experiencing their worst.
❤
You are so wise. Thank you for sharing. I will try my best to remember your kind words to move on.
My love to you 🌹
Thank you momma! Forever our girl.
I love you ♥️